Ragetti Goes To School
by Stormwake
Summary: Just a silly little oneshot about Ragetti and his classmates. Guaranteed to make you laugh at least a little bit. All reviews welcome!


Well, I can't sleep since the cows across the street won't shut up. Whoever said cows go 'Moo' was sadly mistaken. It's more of a cross between a dog bark and a truck horn. Point being, today (well, it's one already so yeah today) is my last day of freedom and so I might as well write something about my impending doom. -laughs- Kidding, school isn't that bad. I dunno, try to picture these guys as little kids.

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Ragetti heard the morning bell. "Great…" The first day of school was always hard. The teacher barely even greeted the class and passed out a test.

"No talking."

He saw Cotton smile out of the corner of his eye. Sometimes that kid was so quiet, he might as well have been a mute. He looked down in disgust at the paper placed before him. Math. Wonderful. He picked up his pencil and looked around at his classmates.

On one side of the room sat Jack and Barbossa, both scribbling madly at their papers, trying to compete with one another. Over a row sat Elizabeth, who had just finished writing her name at the top of the page in big, flowing calligraphy. A grin spread over his face as he saw James Norrington sitting square in front of the teacher, a shiny red apple on his desk. "Suck up." His attention turned to the former two, who had violently thrown down their pencils and raced to the front of the room, pushing and shoving to be first. Jack reached ahead and slammed his sheet a paper on the desk, not a millisecond before Barbossa.

"Ha."

Barbossa eyed the apple, grumbled and returned to his seat, as did Jack, who plopped his hat on his head and tilted it cockily over his eyes. "Master Sparrow, no hats in school." It was Jack's turn to grumble and he moodily stuffed it into his desk.

"But it's not just any hat. It's the hat of the soon-to-be Captain Jack Sparrow!"

Barbossa rolled his eyes. "Have you ever even _been_ on a ship?"

"Yes!"

"We're you even allowed on deck?"

"Well... See the thing is... Um... Bugger." He pouted and bagan to watch a butterfly that was fluttering outside the window. "I think I'll name you Gertrude!"

Ragetti looked back at his own test. Math always confused him. He wanted to be a pirate when he grew up… Or maybe he would join the circus… Either way, he would have no use for sums. He gave a glance over to his best friend, Pintel, who seemed to be having the same problem as him. Ragetti leaned over and whispered, "What's 7+8?"

"Uh, 78?"

"Thanks, mate!" He worked his way down the list only looking up to roll his eyes at Norrington, who presented his completed (and probably correct) paper to the teacher, along with the apple and a bow. He became preoccupied with his classmates again. William, whom he had not seen until now, also finished and brought it up to the front, completely indifferent to the people around him. He looked back at Elizabeth, who was only at the third question, as she had added intricate patterns and designs to each number. "Girls…"

It was Gibb's turn to pass in his paper. He did a strange dance that invovled a lot of spitting and tossed it onto the desk, obviously quite pleased with himself. He then went to reorganize the pile of horseshoes, four leaf-clovers and rabbit's feet that had collected in his desk.

Now Norrington had his head turned, looking for any signs of cheaters that he may be able to rat on for brownie points. Ragetti finished off the last question and sadly passed it in, knowing he failed. He then noticed the new kid at the back of the room. He thought he had heard someone call him Clanker, but he wasn't positive. He couldn't quite place it, but something was odd about that kid. Norrington was beginning to give him suspicious looks so he resigned himself to staring at the clock. The bell rang and everyone filtered out of the classroom.

It seemd like ages before it was finally lunch, his favorite subject. He looked around and all was as it should have been. Jack and Barbossa were bickering, he and Pintel were sitting together as usual, Norrington was watching for troublemakers and Elizabeth was trying to flirt with William, who had no interest whatsoever in what she was saying. Clanker was... Er, what _was_ Clanker doing? He thought he might be trying to make friends with Gibbs and Cotton, but it looked more like he was trying to take their heads off with a luch tray.

At the table beside him, he saw two teachers having an animated discussion. One of them, Mrs. Estrella, was talking about how her husband had survived a brutal storm and had a brush with someone named Davy something. Johnson, James, Jenkins…? The new art teacher, Miss Dalma apparently knew a lot about the subject and went on to describe the past of the tortured sailor. "And then he ran afoul to which vexes all men." The other teacher, a stuffy history professor named Mr. Beckett leaned in, listening intently.

"What vexes all men?"

"You don't know what vexes all men?" She turned around to face Ragetti, who was almost afraid of her now. "Do _you_ know what vexes all men?"

"Erm…" He thought for a moment. "Sums?"

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Funny what lack of sleep can do to your brain. And Beckett is still listening intently, as always. All reviews are greatly apprciated, each and every one makes me smile. :)


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